HOW TO SLEEP BETTER

–have a really hot bath, so hot that you have to stay up an extra hour to read and cool down before you go to bed, you’ll be good and tired then.

–read a really good book of poetry (yes, there are lots out there) that will inspire you to take notes, and those notes will eat away at the soft fleshy material of your brain until you begin to write for yourself, thus keeping yourself awake for hours, which will then help you sleep the next night, when you’re really tired.

–work on a grant application right before bedtime, that will close your eyes pronto

–begin to comtemplate your next book cover by searching for relevant images on the internet while listening to random itunes– you’ll awake in the morning to the soothing tones of jazz with the imprint of the keyboard on your face

–make yourself a nightcap, enjoy it, then maybe make one more, and then perhaps another one, until you begin to randomly email your friends at 3 am. you’ll be still hungover the next night, but you’ll sleep better after emailing your friends apologies

–think of a few writing rituals that will help you sleep while lying in bed choking, coughing, wondering which nostril will eventually unplug first so that you can stop breathing through your mouth, then get up and write them down