…is a catchy title. It’s what is needed to sell your song, your product, your book, why maybe even yourself–
Bob: Hey look at me! I’m in the Top Ten!
Me: The top ten what?
Me: What are you in the Top Ten of?
Bob: The list.
Me: Oh. Gotcha. (frown–thought bubble–how do I get on this list?)
I’m becoming increasingly interested (and at times alarmed) at the use of branding, internet marketing, and even the dissemination of our work in the public sphere. While I understand the need to market, the need to get our names our there, the need to sell ourselves as well as our books, I’m decidedly at crossroads with the process.
But, because it is the time to be seriously silly, I’ve decided to join the masses of retail marketers this Christmas; I’m taking matters into my own hands.
While I’m not sure how I’ll brand myself (did a little number already on my nose on the weekend when I opened up the roasting pan the wrong way–even melted the mascara from my right eye) or exactly what brand I’ll be, I think that I’m going to market myself like the masses. Drum roll please:
For a limited time only!
Read it here first!
Here are the Top Ten reasons you should buy my book(s) for Christmas:
10.They make great coffee table coasters.
9. They are conversation starters– you can tell friends that you know the author (even if you don’t).
8. When bought in lots of ten, they make great door stops.
7. They match any decor!
6. They can be stacked under the door to keep the draft out.
5. They fit neatly in your coat pocket.
4. They don’t make any noise.
3. They come with bookmarks from outdated readings that you can regift to others.
2. They are easy to wrap.
1. They can be read and reread.
A mascara melting moment! Hot or what!
Oh yeah. It was hot. The tip of my nose actually peeled this week.
I think your “brand” should be —0. Why? Because that’s “bar none.”
Oh. Ok, I can get that though I must say it looks like “minus nothing” rather than “bar none!”